#1 humor site on the 'net

Poca Dots High School

A pun-e place to find polka dots

Poca Dots High School thanks to Rita Heywood

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Submergible

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Someone Is Upset

Texas Diet

Moose Crossing

Lost Meal

Plane Oops!

The Wheels of Life

Nerd Shaving

Beethoven's Teacher

Coke's Special Ingredients

Weather Warning

Freedom At Last

Ebola Can Be Eaten

Open Face Sandwich

Busted Politician

Balanced Diet

African Wheelbarrow

Drain Swimmer

Just In Thyme

Tie Wrap Bumper

Mexican Salad Dressing

Leaning Bookshelves

Shrunk Jeep