Pickup Bartender

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it. - Igor Stravinsky

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster