Pals

My friends are my estate. - Emily Dickinson

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Friends are the sunshine of life. - John Hay

An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown

Have no friends not equal to yourself. - Confucius

My friends have made the story of my life. - Helen Keller

Prosperity makes friends; adversity tries them. - Publilius Syrus

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

All your friends are gonna be green with envious. - Archie Bunker

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

Next time you give your clothes away, stay in them. - Henny Youngman

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

All my friends don't recognize me without a limp. - Kim Stewart

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard Shaw

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

There's no word yet for old friends who've just met. - Jim Henson

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

He will never have true friends who is afraid of making enemies. - William Hazlitt

If we growl all day we're likely to feel dog tired at night. - Amish Saying

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

He hasn't an enemy in the world, but all his friends hate him. - Unknown

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Tweeting is like sending out cool telegrams to your friends once a week. - Tom Hanks

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies. - Moshe Dayan

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

In times of prosperity friends will be plenty;
In time of adversity not one in twenty. - English Proverb

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'. - P G Wodehouse

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Good friends are like shock absorbers. They help you take the lumps and bumps on the road of life. - Frank Tyger

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living! - Amanda Bradley

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

As yet, Bernard Shaw hasn't become prominent enough to have any enemies, but none of his friends like him. - Oscar Wilde

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying "flee at once - all is discovered." They all left town immediately. - Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you. - Will Ferrell

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

My candle burns at both ends,
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light! - Edna St Vincent Millay

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a matter of self-preservation, a man needs good friends or ardent enemies, for the former instruct him and the latter take him to task. - Diogenes

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia