#1 humor site on the 'net

Paint Protection

Should you get protective film on a new car's hood?

Paint Protection thanks to Mike King

Car paint protection coating with cement truck disclaimer

QuotaBills
The painting has a life of its own. - Jackson Pollock

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend. - John Singer Sargent

A brush of kindness can paint a smile on a face. - Robert M. Hensel

I don't say everything, but I paint everything. - Pablo Picasso

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Painting is stronger than me, it makes me do its bidding. - Pablo Picasso

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

In the end it's more fun to be the painter than the paint. - George Clooney

A painting is never finished — it simply stops in interesting places. - Paul Gardner

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I did not literally paint that table, but the emotion it produces upon me. - Henri Matisse

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. - Cher

We are all sculptors and painters, and our material is our own flesh and bones. - Henry David Thoreau

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun. - Pablo Picasso

I didn't know that painters and writers retired. They're like soldiers – they just fade away. - Lawrence Ferlinghetti

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals. - Ronnie Corbett

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

I challenge you to make your life the masterpiece you want to paint, the novel you want to read, the day you want to wake to. - Toni Sorenson

Self-consciousness is the enemy of all art, be it acting, writing, painting, or living itself, which is the greatest art of all. - Ray Bradbury

When it began, cubism was a sort of analysis, which was no more painting than the description of physical phenomena was physics. - Juan Gris

The technology keeps moving forward, which makes it easier for the artists to tell their stories and paint the pictures they want. - George Lucas

Painting is a blind man's profession. He paints not what he sees, but what he feels, what he tells himself about what he has seen. - Pablo Picasso

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. - Murphy's Laws

The mathematician's patterns, like the painter's or the poet's, must be beautiful – there is no permanent place in this world for ugly mathematics. - Godfrey Hardy

I'm a storyteller. I love to tell stories about brands. I love to tell stories, period. I like painting pictures through the words, and that's what I do. - Gary Vaynerchuk

Virtually everyone needs motivation of some sort, but when you are in love - that is motivation enough, it turns many into poets and painters, it spurs the creativity in you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive

We've just heard that in the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned. - Ronnie Corbett

Musicians must make music, artists must paint, poets must write if they are to be ultimately at peace with themselves. What humans can be, they must be. They must be true to their own nature. - Abraham Maslow

When you paint Spring, do not paint willows, plums, peaches, or apricots, but just paint Spring. To paint willows, plums, peaches, or apricots is to paint willows, plums, peaches, or apricots - it is not yet painting Spring. - Dogen


Wobbly Roads

Real Man's Barbecue

Benini Ranch Sculpture

Dream Houses from Around The World

Saskatchewan Army

Productive Computers

Dogdems

Black Olives Matter

Food Tips

Fire Starter

Holiday Office

Good Driver

Guest Check

Redneck Shower Head

Deconstruction

It's Broken Now

Mirror Objects

Bicycle Skates

Baby Scan

Canadian Moose Dog

Praying & Preying Mantis

Toilet Paper For The Mother-In-Law

Texas Bank Security

Swimming Pool Reopening