#1 humor site on the 'net

Paint Pants

Fresh paint job for once-clean clothes

Paint Pants thanks to Mike King

Sitting down on the job brings sticky surprise

QuotaBills
Every good painter paints what he is. - Rembrandt Van Rijn

Keep the paint up, and the rubber down. - Unknown

What is this, an audience or an oil painting? - Milton Berle

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vanish: An invisible substance you paint on fences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Painting is stronger than me, it makes me do its bidding. - Pablo Picasso

Of all the things to worry about; the Wookie has no pants. - Mark Hamill

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. - Geraldo Rivera

If you stand up and be counted, someone will take your seat. - Unknown

If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint. - Edward Hopper

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. - Irvin S. Cobb

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I did not literally paint that table, but the emotion it produces upon me. - Henri Matisse

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know - and he always wore his seat belt. - Ice Cube

We are all sculptors and painters, and our material is our own flesh and bones. - Henry David Thoreau

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

If you haven't time to respond to a tug at your pants leg, your schedule is too crowded. - Robert Brault

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun. - Pablo Picasso

Stay in your seat come times of trouble. Its only people who jump off the roller coaster who get hurt. - Paul Harvey

I didn't know that painters and writers retired. They're like soldiers – they just fade away. - Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. - Unknown

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt

If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. - Vincent Van Gogh

Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. - Donald Trump

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

Virtually everyone needs motivation of some sort, but when you are in love - that is motivation enough, it turns many into poets and painters, it spurs the creativity in you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive

Musicians must make music, artists must paint, poets must write if they are to be ultimately at peace with themselves. What humans can be, they must be. They must be true to their own nature. - Abraham Maslow

You are in the driver's seat of your life and can point your life down any road you want to travel. You can go as fast or as slow as you want to go ... and you can change the road you're on at any time. - Jinger Heath

I have a sewing machine that I adore, and I spend a lot of time sitting in front of it when I'm not working. And any excuse to paint or draw or do something artistic with my hands really gets me going. Definitely aspiring. - India de Beaufort


My Mom's The Best

Pianist's Challenge

A Mother's Day Special

Circumcision

Redneck Power Bar

Is Anyone Home?

No way Ole!

Mouth Candy

Cleanup

Baby Shower

Business Hours

Back Massage Track

Beach Bum

Chicken Photobomb

Italian Electronic Humour

Tipsy Redneck

When You Roll A Tesla

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

House Maid For Men

Nintendo Auto Correct

Yoga Pants

Do Not Read Law

One Thousand Words

Single Men For Long-Term Commitment