#1 humor site on the 'net

Paint Pants

Fresh paint job for once-clean clothes

Paint Pants thanks to Mike King

Sitting down on the job brings sticky surprise

QuotaBills
The painting has a life of its own. - Jackson Pollock

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Keep the paint up, and the rubber down. - Unknown

Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

What is this, an audience or an oil painting? - Milton Berle

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend. - John Singer Sargent

A brush of kindness can paint a smile on a face. - Robert M. Hensel

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants. - Jonathan Winters

I don't say everything, but I paint everything. - Pablo Picasso

The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting. - Andy Warhol

Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry G Bohn

Embarrassed: Emmy's condition after losing her pants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Of all the things to worry about; the Wookie has no pants. - Mark Hamill

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. - Geraldo Rivera

If you stand up and be counted, someone will take your seat. - Unknown

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

In the end it's more fun to be the painter than the paint. - George Clooney

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know - and he always wore his seat belt. - Ice Cube

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. - Leopold Stokowski

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. - Winston Churchill

My dad's pants kept creeping up on him. By 65 he was just a pair of pants and a head. - Jeff Altman

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun. - Pablo Picasso

It's not your painting anymore. It stopped being your painting the moment that you finished it. - Jeff Melvoin

Stay in your seat come times of trouble. Its only people who jump off the roller coaster who get hurt. - Paul Harvey

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

The technology keeps moving forward, which makes it easier for the artists to tell their stories and paint the pictures they want. - George Lucas

Painting is a blind man's profession. He paints not what he sees, but what he feels, what he tells himself about what he has seen. - Pablo Picasso

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda

We've just heard that in the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned. - Ronnie Corbett

When you paint Spring, do not paint willows, plums, peaches, or apricots, but just paint Spring. To paint willows, plums, peaches, or apricots is to paint willows, plums, peaches, or apricots - it is not yet painting Spring. - Dogen

Contortionist: 1. A guy who can always make both ends meet; 2. A man who leads a double life; 3. The person who invented the rumble seat; 4. The only person who can do what everyone else would like to do - pat himself on the back. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks