#1 humor site on the 'net

Oxford Comma

How to use English punctuation correctly

Oxford Comma thanks to Bob Reid

Basic rules of English punctuation

QuotaBills
Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus

Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

I failed kindergarten because I couldn't spell my last name. - Zach Galifianakis

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. - Evangel

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

If you cannot understand me in my speech, how can you understand me in my silence? - Ravi Zacharias

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Good content should be at the heart of your strategy, but it is equally important to keep the display context of that content in mind as well. - Tim Frick

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


Polar Bear Attack

Bottom Blast Car Wash

Air Meal

Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Braided Mohawk

Just One More Glass

His First Hot Rod

Saskatchewan Roads

Pool Is Closed

Upended Water Buffalo

Do Not Touch Sign

Cold Beer

Grandma Safety

Partial Flight

Scenic View

Racewagon

Water Skier A-Head Of His Time

Owlympics Ice Skating

Shining Armor Knight

Smile For The Day

British Hairways

Cross Inspector

Morning Saving Time

Kangaroo On Ice