QuotaBillsI'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse
Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown
Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown
The world can't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy
I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump