Outback Golf Course

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries. - Robert Muldoon

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump