One Way Repairs

Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

Nervous Wreck: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals. - Michael Korda

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

There's no one way to dance. And that's kind of my philosophy about everything. - Ellen Degeneres

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One way to sell a consumer something in the future is simply to get his or her permission in advance. - Seth Godin

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. - Epictetus

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com