One Way Repairs

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals. - Michael Korda

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. - Aristotle

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it. - Dale Carnegie

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him.
If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. - Groucho Marx

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball,
And that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. - Ogden Nash

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

A man who is used to acting in one way never changes; he must come to ruin when the times, in changing, no longer are in harmony with his ways. - Niccolo Machiavelli

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright