#1 humor site on the 'net

Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair

She used a strong-scented conditioner that day

Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Was she looking for a Bob haircut?

QuotaBills
Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffet

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

Lead the audience by the nose to the thought. - Laurence Olivier

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

Leaders inspire. They aren't assigned leadership. They command it. - Dr. Phil McGraw

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

Sometimes it's the people you can't help who inspire you the most. - Melinda Gates

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level. - Max L. Forman

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. - Adele Brookman

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose. - Mark Twain

It is difficult to inspire others to accomplish what you haven't been willing to try. - Unknown

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Let hope inspire you, but let not idealism blind you. Don't look back, you can never look back. - Don Henley

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear


Tiger Dog

No More Arguing

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Multi-Pour Coffee Pot

Things Bottled Up

Cake Message

SnowCut

Depressing Situation

Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Turbo Snail

Power Outage

Beijing Redneck

Late Lecture

Escapism

Wine Secret

It's All Mine

Big Card Game

Sweet Chopper

Spaghetti Tree

Inglish Spikkers Welcom

Where Astronauts Hang Out

Wrap Around Tree

Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture