#1 humor site on the 'net

Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair

She used a strong-scented conditioner that day

Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Was she looking for a Bob haircut?

QuotaBills
Instinct is the nose of the mind. - Madame de Girardin

Aspire to inspire before we expire. - Unknown

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffett

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. - Oliver Herford

Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs. - Stephen Covey

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle. - George Orwell

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

In art, the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can inspire. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. - Adele Brookman

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose. - Mark Twain

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

The best leaders incentivize, inspire and empower their teams to be creative and innovative. - Michael Bloomberg

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

Let hope inspire you, but let not idealism blind you. Don't look back, you can never look back. - Don Henley

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

Average leaders raise the bar on themselves; good leaders raise the bar for others; great leaders inspire others to raise their own bar. - Orrin Woodward


Ostrich Imprint

Tea Party Weapon

Extra Space Bed

Unattended Children

ThrowYo

Cell Phone Warning

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Husband Creche

Undertaker Bike

Road Sign Dictionary

Sandal Security

House Appraisal

Tongue Twister

Class Notes

The Perfect Male

Welfare Dogs

Internet Surfing

Chipotie Burger

Ant Virus

K9 Construction

Fork In The Road

Before Twitter

Drink And Drive Directions

Just Divorced