#1 humor site on the 'net

No-Lake Picture

Fake Lake scenery

No-Lake Picture thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. - Drake Edwards

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Man is a complex being: He makes deserts bloom - and lakes die. - Gil Stern

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

You know what they say in Hollywood - the most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it. - Cesar Romero

He that climbs the tall tree has won the right to the fruit; he that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit. - Walter Scott

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins


Candy Hairess

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Bag Hang-Up

Dog Spa

Pacman Skeleton

Young Rock Star

Shoplifter Warning

Eavestrough Cat

Bobbie Tickle

Exhausting or Amewzing?

World's First Hard Hat

Cup on the Edge

British Gas Meter

Hot Summer Days

Senior Protesters

Microsoft Software Upgrade

Mow Your Lawn

Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face

Wheelchair Access

Dog Training for Dummies