No-iPhone Kids

My friends are my estate. - Emily Dickinson

Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal

I was innocent, then my best friends came along. - Unknown

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard Shaw

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. - Wilson Mizner

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. - Oscar Wilde

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again. - WC Fields

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. - Sicilian Proverb

We make more enemies by what we say than friends by what we do. - John C Collins

If I'm going to Hell, I'm going there playing the piano. - Jerry Lee Lewis

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. - Groucho Marx

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Tweeting is like sending out cool telegrams to your friends once a week. - Tom Hanks

Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.

I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know. - Archie Bunker

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Playing Shakespeare is so tiring. You never get a chance to sit down unless you're a king. - Josephine Hull

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S Truman

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

Friendship with one's self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

Piano playing is more difficult than statesmanship. It is harder to awake emotions in ivory keys than it is in human beings. - Ignace Jan Paderewski

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Ukulele: A so-called musical instrument which, when listened to, you cannot tell whether one is playing on it or just monkeying with it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers

Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving. - Gail Tsukiyama