Nice Try, Mom

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. - Bill Meyer

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman

If it's flipping hamburgers at McDonald's, be the best hamburger flipper in the world. Whatever it is you do you have to master your craft. - Snoop Dogg

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock