Nice Try, Mom

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

I wouldn't eat a hamburger for 40,000 dollars. - River Phoenix

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. - Phyllis Diller

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion. These are the things my mom taught me. - Lady Gaga

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius. - Matthew McConaughey

Juicing isn't about binging and cleansing; I try to incorporate it into a balanced diet. - Eddie Huang

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid