Nice Try, Mom

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why. - Bernard Baruch

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Once you lose the weight, you're really anxious to eat healthy. - Etta James

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com