Naughty Dog

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Billboards: Litter on a stick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! - Steven Wright

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Any time you're near a kangaroo, it's a close call. - Jerry O'Connell

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries. - Robert Muldoon

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle