Naughty Dog

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! - Steven Wright

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

The world can't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner