Months Apart

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vaccine: A microbe with his face washed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew. - Russell Peters

Be willing to access joy in the face of adversity. - C.W. Metcalf

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it. - George R.R. Martin

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart. - Unknown

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face. - Clare Boothe Luce

When nothing goes right, you have to face forward and take it on head first. - Kyo Shirodaira

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult. - Chris Hardwick

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

People don't really know whether they are committed to something until they face adversity. - John C Maxwell

Let your devotional life be the beacon that guides you through the tough terrain you will face. - Ravi Zacharias

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

If you're unable to find your face in the dictionary, then take this opportunity to define yourself. - Faydra D. Fields

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. - Roald Dahl

Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat. - Ralph Ellison

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or who says it. - Malcolm X

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller