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Mom's Kid

Happy Mother's Day from her only child

Mom's Kid thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Weird kids are even more special on Mother's Day

QuotaBills
Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mother is a verb, not a noun. - Shonda Rhimes

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

Inner silence is the mother of all talents. - Ravi Shankar

Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. - Sophocles

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate. - Unknown

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. - Gypsy Rose Lee

Life doesn't come with a manual. It comes with a mother. - Unknown

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me. - Antonio Villaraigosa

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

A mother is a story with no beginning. That is what defines her. - Meghan O'Rourke

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

A mother is your first friend, your best friend, your forever friend. - Unknown

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

Grandmother and grandchild never truly part, maybe in distance but never in heart. - Unknown

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. - Taraji P Henson

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. - Unknown

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it's too late to let her know that he sees it. - W D Howells

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. - Samuel Smiles

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


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