Mid Road Parking Spot

You are not stuck. - Louise Thompson

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Bananosecond: Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Santanism: The belief that when you die, your soul gets stuck in the chimney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Intelligence is like a 4 wheel drive - it allows you to get stuck in more remote places. - Garrison Keillor

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. - George Carlin

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

The gap between what's expected and what you deliver is where the magic happens, in business and life. - Jay Baer

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. - Garrison Keillor

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

New Year's Day ... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. - Mark Twain

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright