#1 humor site on the 'net

Mid Road Parking Spot

Bridging the gap - highway edition

Mid Road Parking Spot thanks to Mike King

Almost paving the way for others

When road construction projects run out of financing
QuotaBills
Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

If you do a job too well, you'll get stuck with it. - Unknown

Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs. - Malcolm Forbes

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder! - Princess Leia

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

The greatest gap in life is the one between knowing and doing. - Dick Biggs

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Your problem is to bridge the gap which exists between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach. - Earl Nightingale

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing you did mattered? - Bill Murray

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

If I'm ever stuck on a respirator or a life support system, I definitely want to be unplugged, but not until I'm down to a size eight. - Henriette Mantel

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Slip Sliding Away

Canadian Smart Car

Winter SOS

East Coast Winter Graffiti

Handstand Snowman

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

We're Not Gonna Take It

Vinyl Richie

Karma Towing

Red Wine Diet

Snow Geese

Family Birthday Reminder

The Circular File

Pair Tree

'Top Down' Snow Removal

Winter Kayaking

Mustache Breeze

Something Positive

Snowstorm Closure

Cold Cross Bunny

Motorcycle For Sale

She's A Keeper

Winter Ready

Next Week Plans