Message From The Wife

Marry money. - Max Shulman

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf