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Message From The Wife

Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship

My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Message From The Wife thanks to Barry McCartney

Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage

QuotaBills
Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. - Abraham J. Heschel

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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