Message From The Wife

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller