Message From The Wife

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is. - H. Jackson Browne

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs. - Joseph Addison

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau