Message From The Wife
Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship
My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage
QuotaBillsMarry money. - Max Shulman
Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb
Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx
German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker
Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates
A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler
My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn
A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen
In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem
Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats
I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash
I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez
Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West
Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields
There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown
I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass
Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci
If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner
A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott
First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns
Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde
My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas
Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller