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Message From The Wife

Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship

My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Message From The Wife thanks to Barry McCartney

Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage

QuotaBills
Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau


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