#1 humor site on the 'net

Mechanic's Ring

Finger-Fine Jewelry for Special Mechanics

Mechanic's Ring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wearing a pipe wrench around your finger

QuotaBills
No pressure, no diamonds. - Mary Case

Wear your diamonds on the inside. - Megan Dodds

Diamonds are forever, my youth is not. - Jill St John

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The ring always believes that the finger lives for it. - Malcolm de Chazal

Where you stumble and fall, there you discover the gold. - Joseph Campbell

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

This diamond has so many carats it's almost a turnip. - Richard Burton

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

It is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all. - Mark Twain

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time. - J. Mason

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

You meet your friend, your face brightens - you have struck gold. - Kassia

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

A diamond with a flaw is better than a common stone that is perfect. - Chinese Proverb

Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed. - Robert G Ingersoll

It's diamonds in your pockets one week, macaroni and cheese the next. - Jolene Blalock

A beautiful diamond asks to be viewed from many angles, shining in the light. - Clare Josa

I'm a dirt person. I trust the dirt. I don't trust diamonds and gold. - Eartha Kitt

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words. - William H Gass

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Diamonds are instrinsically worthless, except for the deep psychological need they fill. - Nick Oppenheimer

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me his watch. - Woody Allen

I work with gold that holds history, diamonds that see the future, and rubies that long for love. - Waris Ahluwalia

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

Every diamond has the ability to shine when there is someone to recognize its good facets and inhibit its flaws. - Wes Fesler

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

The diamond which shines in the Saviour's crown shall burn in unquenched beauty at last on the forehead of every human soul. - Theodore Parker

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. - Peter Marshall

The diamond has been always esteemed the rarest stone, and the most precious of all: among the ancients it was called the stone of reconciliation. - Lewis Vertoman


The Great Depression

Divorce Defined

Paint Ladder

Spanish Restrooms

First Computer Cursor

Arsenic Wafers

Car Surgeon

Rust-ic Truck

Aisle Cleanup

Camouflage Garage

World's First Laser Pointer

Patio Losers

Tetris Cake

Tower of Hammocks

Dead Batteries

Cheers!

Roger That

What Day Is It?

Blinker Fluid

Temple Car

Family Birthday Reminder

Coffee Days

New Audi

Netherlands Parking Lot