#1 humor site on the 'net

Mechanic's Ring

Finger-Fine Jewelry for Special Mechanics

Mechanic's Ring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wearing a pipe wrench around your finger

QuotaBills
Big girls need big diamonds. - Elizabeth Taylor

The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown

Where gold speaks every tongue is silent. - Italian Proverb

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Character is a diamond that scratches every other stone. - Cyrus A. Bartol

Where you stumble and fall, there you discover the gold. - Joseph Campbell

Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs. - Malcolm Forbes

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

They bequeathed the gleaming gold, treasure of men, to earth. - Beowulf

It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all. - Mark Twain

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time. - J. Mason

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

I do not want horses or diamonds - I am happy in possessing you. - Clara Schumann

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - Mark Twain

I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy. - Kevin O'Leary

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

A diamond with a flaw is better than a common stone that is perfect. - Chinese Proverb

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul. - Democritus

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. - Fred Willard

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me his watch. - Woody Allen

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Liking the Leafs is like having molten gold poured into your face. It's gold, but it's burning your face off. - Sean Cullen

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

With so much to be aware of, awareness bracelets have reverted to signifying nothing more than color itself. Idealism has devolved into fashion. - Timothy Noah


Cake Message

SnowCut

Depressing Situation

Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Turbo Snail

Power Outage

Beijing Redneck

Late Lecture

Escapism

Wine Secret

It's All Mine

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Big Card Game

Sweet Chopper

Spaghetti Tree

Inglish Spikkers Welcom

Where Astronauts Hang Out

Wrap Around Tree

Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture

International Truck Bed

Strong Man

Snowbound Train

Not Without A Washer