#1 humor site on the 'net

Me No Study

Finding rich guys for a care-free future

Me No Study thanks to Peter Ng

Some relationships are proportional to the money on the table

QuotaBills
Financial Dilemma: A bill pickle - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ability is a poor man's wealth. - John Wooden

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Life is a relationship between molecules. - Linus Pauling

The love of evil is the root of all money. - American Proverb

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Truth is simple, requiring neither study nor art. - Ammian

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die. - Jean-Paul Sartre

When the rich make war it's the poor that die. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Wind to a sailor is what money is to life on shore. - Sterling Hayden

Ah, if the rich were rich as the poor fancy riches. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Minutes are worth more than money. Spend them wisely. - Thomas P Murphy

Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion. - Tony Hsieh

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

It's just as easy to love a rich person as a poor one. - Unknown

The power of forgiveness transcends personal relationships. - Eric Metaxas

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft. - Winston Churchill

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. - Kin Hubbard

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

Anybody who thinks money will make you happy hasn't got money. - David Geffen

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

I'm worth far too much money. I don't need anybody's money. - Donald Trump

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

It's harder for a poor man to be successful than it is for a rich man. - Gregory Nunn

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go. - Humphrey Bogart

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace. - Zig Ziglar

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Be charitable before wealth make thee covetous, and lose not the glory of the mite. - Thomas Brown

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out: I bought myself a happy meal. - Paul F Taylor

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

The cost of praising someone is nil - but every psychological study shows the payoff is huge. - Harvey Mackay

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. - David Letterman

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it. - George Bernard Shaw

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

The greatness of a man is not how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. - Bob Marley

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak


Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout