#1 humor site on the 'net

Like No Udder

How to milk a good picture

Like No Udder thanks to Dave Loewen

Looks like it's time to Moooooooove on

QuotaBills
Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown

Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Happiness is a habit - cultivate it. - Elbert Hubbard

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi

When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


Yoda-Churchill

Royal Knit Wit

Make Loaf Not War

Topping The Charts

Passageway

Wet Suit Danger

Shopping With Grandma

Colorectal Exam For Dogs

Suitcase Recycling

1941 PTO Portable Sawmill

Leaky Pipes

Camel Photobomb

Teabucks

Diabetes Donation

Garmin Drive

CreepEye

Sleeping Guests

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Open For Business

This Rocks

Lifting Heavy Objects

Tomato Treat