#1 humor site on the 'net

Keet

Search for a unique Parakeet

Keet thanks to Howard Chapman

Parakeet - a name for any one of a large number of small to medium sized species of  Parrot, that generally have long tail feathers
QuotaBills
Danger and delight grow on one stalk. - English Proverb

Not by wrath does one kill but by laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

No one is expected to achieve the impossible. - French Proverb

Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing. - Oscar Wilde

If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over. - Yiddish Proverb

To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice. - Ambrose Bierce

For thirty years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died. - George Burns

We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master. - Ernest Hemingway

The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen. - Roy E Moody

Outstanding people have one thing in common: an absolute sense of mission. - Zig Ziglar

Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. - Henry Fielding

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

In basketball the importance of the mental to the physical is about four to one. - Bobby Knight

Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved. - Christopher P. Rubero

I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one. - Brian Clough

One of the things that I have admired about India is the spiritualism of the people. - Stephen Covey

I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

You can do something unique and better than anyone else. Find that one thing and do it. - Jim Pattison

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. - Nicolas Chamfort

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. - Soren Kierkegaard

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat. - Unknown

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke

One thing I carried my whole life, especially from my grandparents in Chicago, was a huge idealism for the world. - Abigail Washburn

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it is also more nourishing. - H L Mencken

I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again. - Oscar Wilde

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

If you study a subject every day, for one hour a day, for five days a week - in five years you will become an expert in that area. - Earl Nightingale

There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze,
And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees. - Ogden Nash

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

Chefs are nutters. They;re all self-obsessed, delicate, dainty, insecure little souls and absolute psychopaths. Every last one of them. - Gordon Ramsay

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

He who tells a lie, is not sensible of how great a task he undertakes; for he must be forced to invent twenty more to maintain that one. - Alexander Pope

In this age of microblogging and two-second sound bites, almost no one has the attention span, or time, to read more than a few sentences. - Tim Frick

When you compare the sorrows of real life to the pleasures of the imaginary one, you will never want to live again, only to dream forever. - Alexandre Dumas


Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar

Electricity Storage

How To Sharpen Pencils

Chevforodge

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

Not Stuck