#1 humor site on the 'net

Just Lettuce Know

Doing punitence @ joe-ks.com

Just Lettuce Know thanks to Martin Grosse

Pun: The lowest form of humour - unless you thought of it first

QuotaBills
Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

Vegan: An alien from the planet Lettuce - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

Don't pick at your food. It won't heal. - Hawkeye Pierce

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. - Rita Rudner

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

I love seafood. I'm not a vegetarian but I'm probably a pescetarian. - Padma Lakshmi

Onion: A vegetable that builds you up physically but tears you down socially - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. - Will Rogers

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Sons Of Arthritis

Husband Colors

Soccer Watch

Finger Lickin' Good!

Scottish Variant

Knight Room

FIFA HQ

Spot The Surfer

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale

Husband of the Year

Child Disarma-meant

Ancient Greek Stormtrooper

Ferrous Wheel

Dese Are My Bebies

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Dog Kennel

Mom Posting

Flying is so Overrated