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Just Lettuce Know

Doing punitence @ joe-ks.com

Just Lettuce Know thanks to Martin Grosse

Pun: The lowest form of humour - unless you thought of it first

QuotaBills
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Of puns it has been said that they who most dislike them are least able to utter them. - Edgar Allan Poe

An old timer is one who remembers when we counted our blessings instead of our calories. - Unknown

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food. - Sally Edwards

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright


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