Jim Class

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

My head says gym, but my heart says donuts. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

LAN Down Under: Local Area Network in Australia - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. - Mark Twain

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Australian Kiss: Same as French Kiss, only down under - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A good goal is like a strenuous exercise - it makes you stretch. - Mary Kay Ash

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Jumping At Conclusions: Not half as much exercise as digging for facts - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? - Bill Murray

Google+ is the gym of social networking: we all join, but nobody actually uses it. - Unknown

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries. - Robert Muldoon

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

The Good of man is the active exercise of his soul's faculties in conformity with excellence or virtue. - Aristotle

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster