Jewish Christmas Tree

Off-the-docks Jews (Orthodox Jews) - Archie Bunker

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash