Jewish Christmas Tree

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Disbelief: How you tell someone what the green stuff on a tree is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Every year during their High Holy Days, the Jewish community reminds us all of our need for repentance and forgiveness. - Billy Graham

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky