#1 humor site on the 'net

Japanese Eye Test

Need an eye exam?

Japanese Eye Test thanks to Jim Serritella

Hari-Kareye - tests performed by a Japanese ophthalmologist

If you can't decipher anything, try pulling the corner of your eyes, as if you were Japanese. Keep pulling until your eyes are almost closed...
An eye examination is a series of tests performed by an ophthalmologist (medical Doctor), known as Hari-Kareye in Japan

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Deliver: An organ in de body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli

Erection: When Japanese go to vote. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A friend's eye is a good mirror. - Irish Proverb

Crick: Noise made by a Japanese camera - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The important thing is not the camera but the eye. - Alred Eisenstaedt

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. - Henri Bergson

I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

In the land of the blind those who are blessed with one eye are kings. - French Proverb

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct. - Thomas Jefferson

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased. - John Nesvig

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Only a genius can say these four words, four times really fast without getting tongue twisted: eye, yam, stew, peed - Unknown

It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. - George Carlin

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


Redneck NASCAR Astronaut

Valium Latte

Tree Removal

Happy Billionaire Halloween

Almost Done

Halloween Transformers

Latte Defined

Bush Zombie

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

Cutting Off Board

Eat Your Dinner!

Hormone Guide

Gun Laws

Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement

Wolfermelon

Car Axident

Centipede Pumpkin

Hiding Horse

How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer

Bourbon Shampoo

Goat Bike

Food Art

Rednecks At Play

She's A Keeper