It's Been A Good Day

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

To look back is to relax one's vigil. - Bette Davis

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax. - Mark Black

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. - Chinese Proverb

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay