It's Been A Good Day

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

To look back is to relax one's vigil. - Bette Davis

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax. - Mark Black

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

There is always going to be a little something wrong with you. Relax and live through that. - Unknown

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

I think Nature's imagination is so much greater than man's, she's never gonna let us relax! - Richard P Feynman

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison