#1 humor site on the 'net

Insomniac Christmas

On the bright side - only 3 more days 'til Christmas!

Insomniac Christmas thanks to Howard Chapman

Insomnia (or sleeplessness) is a sleep disorder in which there is an inability to fall asleep or to stay asleep as long as desired

QuotaBills
A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. - Evan Davis

Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. - James Stephens

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

Sleeplessness is a desert without vegetation or inhabitants. - Jessamyn West

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. - Wilson Mizner

One cannot think well, love well and sleep well if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Most people spend their lives going to bed when they're not sleep, and getting up when they are. - Cindy Adams

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. - Doug Larson

Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. - William Arthur Ward

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

That we are not much sicker and much madder than we are is due exclusively to that most blessed and blessing of all natural graces, sleep. - Aldous Huxley

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. - Dale Carnegie


Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot