Insomniac Christmas

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

I'll sleep when I'm dead. - Warren Zevon

I'm good in bed. I can sleep all day. - Unknown

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. - Evan Davis

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. - Wilson Mizner

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Plough deep while sluggards sleep, and you shall have corn to sell and to keep. - Benjamin Franklin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A great many people, and more all the time, live their entire lives without ever once sleeping out under the stars. - Alan S. Kesselheim

A man can do only what a man can do. But if he does that each day, he can sleep at night and do it again the next day. - Albert Schweitzer

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. - Doug Larson

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. - Dale Carnegie

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin