#1 humor site on the 'net

Innocent Plants

Vegetarian violence

Innocent Plants thanks to Howard Chapman

Food harvest survivors in the garden patch

Innocent Plants thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
Spoils Of War: Army food - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

Vegan: An alien from the planet Lettuce - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories. - Jessica Simpson

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset, my diet goes out the window. - Kelly Osbourne

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice. - Salma Hayek

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli


Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale

Husband of the Year

Child Disarma-meant

Ancient Greek Stormtrooper

Ferrous Wheel

Dese Are My Bebies

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Dog Kennel

Mom Posting

Flying is so Overrated

Too Short

Pinocchio Playground

Bike Bed

Hi, My Name's Cliff - Drop Over Some Time!

TP Kid

Soccer Overpass

Aussie Starter Fluid

Laxative Cream Pie

Tea Lights