In Deep Water

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass. - Archie Bunker

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott