In Deep Water

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass. - William Shakespeare

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

As a prize - a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher! - Unknown

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass. - Archie Bunker

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up. - Ernest Hemingway

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay