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Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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