Hoser

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright