QuotaBillsAfford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright