Hoser
Portable pump attachment allows for faster fill-up at gas stations
A day when Ethyl took more than Methanol
Why today’s gas pump hose is made with safety in mind
QuotaBillsKhaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Gargling: A good way to see if your throat leaks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com