Happy Mother's Day

Silence is the mother of truth. - Benjamin Disraeli

Leisure is the Mother of Philosophy. - Thomas Hobbes

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Antibody: 1. Against everyone; 2. Your Uncle's wife. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Modern Mother: One who worries if her daughter gets in too early - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

God pardons like a mother who kisses the offense into everlasting forgiveness. - Henry Ward Beecher

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

My mom always said, "Don't say if I make it", say, "When I make it!" - Mariah Carey

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mother reads the obituary page every day, but she could never understand how people always die in alphabetical order. - Frank Carson

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx