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Happy Mother's Day

Kids are even more special on Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Celebrating Mom's special day with something white

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. - Jay Leno

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


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