“For better digestion, I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold, I drink schnapps.”
“When do you drink water?”
“I’ve never been that sick!”
QuotaBillsI told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown
Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. - Jacqueline Schiff
There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown
NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
You may know the intractability of a disease by its long list of remedies. - Alonzo Clark
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson
Nothing is more despicable than a professional talker who uses his words as a quack uses his remedies. - Francois Fenelon
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda