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Grandma's Remedies

How to control digestion and high blood pressure

Grandma's Remedies thanks to Mike King

Living to a ripe old age

“For better digestion, I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold, I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”

QuotaBills
Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Henry David Thoreau

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


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