Grandma's Controller

Only you can control your future. - Dr. Seuss

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

Control your own destiny or someone else will. - Jack Welch

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Lord, give me chastity and self-control, but not just yet. - St. Augustine

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

While your circumstances are beyond your control, your character is not. - John C Maxwell

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

Courage, moderation, self-control - above all, the peace of a contented mind. - Lillian Watson

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The most exciting happiness is happiness generated by forces beyond your control. - Ogden Nash

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside. - Mr. Yoga

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno