Grandma's Controller

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

Grandmother, as she gets older, is not fading, but becoming more concentrated. - Paulette Alden

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

She was starting to think that it might be fun to be in control of the universe. - Nicki Elson

The wise man should be prepared for everything that does not lie within his control. - Pythagoras

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them. - Jack Kerouac

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside. - Mr. Yoga

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

I don't run restaurants that are out of control. We are about establishing phenomenal footholdings with talent. - Gordon Ramsay

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato