#1 humor site on the 'net

Good Lawyer

What makes a great lawyer?

Good Lawyer thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Criminal Law - selecting the best lawyer AND avoiding the worst

QuotaBills
Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish

Jesus On The Beach

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Moldy Bible

Break Dance Soccer

Milk of Amnesia

Foot-Ball

Exhausted Baby

Open Air Wiring

Miss Chernobyl 2004

Fish Lips

Easy Mopping

African Lunch

Structural Books

Honda Boxer Engine

Sick Tombstone

No Drip

Gun Leash

Whole Human

Antler Field

Moon Football

Bike Rack