QuotaBillsGolf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse
Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter
In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez