Golf Restroom

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez