QuotaBillsAll is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse
Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg
The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump