#1 humor site on the 'net

Godzilla vs God

Putting the King of the Monsters in his place Monty Python style

Godzilla vs God thanks to Mel Hardman

Is there a God? Godzilla without his zilla?

QuotaBills
What has God wrought? - Samuel Morse

Conscience is God present in man. - Victor Hugo

Forgiveness is God's command. - Martin Luther

Adversity makes men think of God. - Livy

If God be for us, who can be against us? - Romans 8:31

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright

I'm an atheist and I thank God for it. - George Bernard Shaw

God help those who do not help themselves. - Addison Mizner

Friends are God's apology for relatives. - Hugh Kingsmill

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

You go to heaven. God sneezes. What do you say? - Peter Houppermans

God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants. - Jonathan Winters

God always strives together with those who strive. - Aeschylus

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us. - Saint Augustine

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. - Ambrose Bierce

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. - Virgil A Kraft

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays. - Soren Kierkegaard

God may forgive your sins, but your nervous system won't. - Alfred Korzybski

The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. - Luke 18:27

Hope is the word which God has written on the brow of every man. - Victor Hugo

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. - Genesis 1:31

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars. - Elbert Hubbard

God doesn't comfort us to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters. - Billy Graham

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. - Garrison Keillor

Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us - God will avenge us. - Jacques de Molay

What will finally destroy us is not communism or fascism, but man acting like God. - Malcolm Muggeridge

He drained the cup of God's wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us to drink. - Richard A Bodey

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you. - Saint Augustine

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

All of us are guinea pigs in the laboratory of God. Humanity is just a work in progress. - Tennessee Williams

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It happens to be against two laws: God's and man's. I'm booking her on the second. - Cornell Wilde

It is safe to tell the pure in heart that they shall see God, for only the pure in heart want to. - C S Lewis

What a chimera then is man. What a novelty! What a monster... what a contradiction, what a prodigy. - Blaise Pascal

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived. - George S Patton

Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them. - Vincent McNabb

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. - Soren Kierkegaard

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

You must ask for God's help. After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. - C S Lewis

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

God's blessings are dispensed according to the riches of his grace, not according to the depth of our faith. - Max Lucado

There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him. - C S Lewis

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. - Mark 10:25

Trust God for the impossible - miracles are His department. Our job is to do our best, letting the Lord do the rest. - David Jeremiah

God is great not just because nothing is too big for Him. God is great because nothing is too small for Him, either. - Mark Batterson

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

To allow God to be God we must follow him for who he is and what he intends, and not for what we want or what we prefer. - Ravi Zacharias

Of course God knew what would happen if they used their freedom the wrong way: apparently, He thought it worth the risk. - C S Lewis

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. - Abraham Lincoln

We study the glory of God, and the honour and liberty of parliament, for which we fight, without seeking our own interests. - Oliver Cromwell

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

There is not greater reward in our profession than the knowledge that God has entrusted us with the physical care of his people. - Dr. Elmer Hess

The blood of Christ covers all of our sins, but each of us must do personal business with God in order to experience his forgiveness. - Lewis B Smedes

When you die, God and the angels will hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in this life that you denied yourself. - Unknown

God has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. You are as much alone with him as if you were the only being he had ever created. - C S Lewis

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Be yourself no matter what other people think. God made you the way you are for a reason. Besides, an original is always worth more than a copy! - Unknown


Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing