#1 humor site on the 'net

Getting Goosed

Goose Down!

Getting Goosed thanks to Mike King

Mother Goose cries fowl

The most common way to goose someone is with the fingers and thumb of one hand. The collective noun for a group of geese on the ground is a gaggle; when in flight, they are called a skein, a team or a wedge; when flying close together, they are called a plump.

QuotaBills
All our geese are swans. - Robert Burton

Goose Pimples: Duck acne - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I eat less, stretch, and work out. - Ted Danson

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One man's goose is another man's dander. - Archie Bunker

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. - English Proverb

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller

What is really a stretch to me is to make quick decisions. - Ang Lee

A physical therapist does some unbelievable stretching with me. - Brian O'Driscoll

We're the only animal that wakes up and doesn't stretch. - Conor McGregor

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

A goose flies by a chart the Royal Geographical Society could not improve. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose. - Fred Allen

I wake up in the morning, I do a little stretching exercises, pick up the horn and play. - Herb Alpert

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

Propaganda: 1. Patriotism as practiced by our enemies; 2. Polite, well behaved male goose. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Gaming goes in trends, and for a bit of a too-long stretch, it focused on huge productions. - Markus Persson

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber

Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own. - Charles Scribner

We laid the track on a smooth stretch of ground about one hundred feet north of the new building. - Orville Wright

Make big pots of soups, stews and chilis, they stretch a buck, and you can live off them for days. - Rachael Ray

The hallmark of successful people is that they are always stretching themselves to learn new things. - Carol S Dweck

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

I'm a chameleon when it come to guitar playing, and like to stretch out into different territories. - Nancy Wilson

What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds. - Wayne Dyer

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a nice plump missionary. - Oscar Wilde

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Often my best work comes from somebody trying to stretch me in a direction that I wouldn't normally want to go in. - Alan Menken

Toy Soldiers was my introduction to film. I certainly didn't think I was doing art by any stretch of the imagination. - Tim Robbins

When you're stretching yourself, as a role like 'Blue Jasmine' did for me, you risk falling flat on your face. - Cate Blanchett

Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? - Carol Burnett

I've had a very good stretch with startup investing, and I think it's very important to know when to hold your chips. - Tim Ferriss

It is good to be tired and wearied by the futile search after the true good, that we may stretch out our arms to the Redeemer. - Blaise Pascal

Delegating doesn't mean passing off work you don't enjoy, but letting your employees stretch their skills and judgment. - Harvey Mackay

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness. - Les Brown

Stretching the capabilities of my imagination is a crucial aspect of writing fiction; you could think of it as a mental form of athleticism. - Julia Glass

The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski

Every job I do, I like to think it makes me better, or I learn things. It's all about how much something's going to stretch me or test me. - Daniel Radcliffe


Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies