#1 humor site on the 'net

German Forest

Living sculpture frames German landscape

German Forest thanks to Lucien Renaud

Tree sculpture art in Germany

QuotaBills
Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

Some German words are so long that they have perspective. - Mark Twain

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" - George Carlin

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. - John Muir

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

45 caliber German Shmowzer - a 38 caliber German Floogle with a telephonic site - Archie Bunker

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Whatever music sounds like, I am glad to say that it does not sound in the smallest degree like German. - Oscar Wilde

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Toward the north, from there shone Frederick, the North Star, around whom Germany, Europe, even the world seemed to turn. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I'm always astonished by a forest. It makes me realise that the fantasy of nature is much larger than my own fantasy. - Gunter Grass

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb


Tartan Headphones

Husband Quarantine

Aussie Salad

Greta on Chopsticks

Darkness Eliminator

Don't Touch Your Face

Pet Dentist

Falcon Resting in a Tree

Wine Day

Fishnet Table

Sink Lynx

No Swimming

Going Up

The Honey Truck

Flying is so Overrated

Wear Fur Without Killing Animals

Nutella Soother

Teaching Hotle

Cowgirl High Heels

Coast Guard Cutbacks

Woodpecker Trio

Evolution and Philosophy

Pizza Cutter

Polite Breakfast