#1 humor site on the 'net

Frozen Theater

Now playing in a cold cinema near you

Frozen Theater thanks to Francis Turner

Reality TV makes it to the big screen

QuotaBills
Precision is not reality. - Henri Matisse

Reality – what a concept! - Robin Williams

Reality is almost always wrong. - Gregory House

Reality is frequently inaccurate. - Douglas Adams

Reality continues to ruin my life. - Bill Watterson

Legitimate reality (realty) company. - Archie Bunker

I detest him more than cold boiled veal. - Lord Macaulay

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. - Jane Wagner

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

Never underestimate the value of cold cash. - Gregory Nunn

Love paid a price so hope could become a reality. - Susan Gaddis

What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality. - Plutarch

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be. - Jack Welch

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane. - Philip K. Dick

When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time. - Byron Katie

Individuals who act too 'cool' often freeze under pressure. - Unknown

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. - Tom Clancy

We have art so that we do not die of reality. Reality is too much with us. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive. - William F. Buckley, Jr.

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. - Ayn Rand

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

You said you have a dream. Make your wonderful dream a reality, and it will become your truth. - Pokemon

When you expect good, it's available constantly, and it makes itself a reality in your life. - Alfre Woodard

The masses are in reality their own leaders, dialectically creating their own development process. - Rosa Luxemburg

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike - and yet it is the most precious thing we have. - Albert Einstein

One supreme fact which I have discovered is that it is not willpower but imagination that creates. Imagination creates reality. - Richard Wagner

In our society those who are in reality superior in intelligence can be accepted by their fellows only if they pretend they are not. - Marya Mannes

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Funnel Farm

Buffalo Prod

Meat Pie

Where Nobody Speeds

A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Point Of View

Good Conductor

Kelp Us!

Croc Lunge

Tree Awning

Oversize Load

Redneck Spoon

Cheating

Be Very Quiet

Quick Rubik's Cube

Window Sundial

Helping Hands

Short On Electricity

Amish Friends

Spiral Roots

Tree Sorrow

Domino Crossing

Family Reunion

Roll Me Over