#1 humor site on the 'net

Frozen Theater

Now playing in a cold cinema near you

Frozen Theater thanks to Francis Turner

Reality TV makes it to the big screen

QuotaBills
Precision is not reality. - Henri Matisse

Plans make dreams reality. - Susan Pace-Koch

Reality is almost always wrong. - Gregory House

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Reality is something you rise above. - Liza Minnelli

I detest him more than cold boiled veal. - Lord Macaulay

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. - Jane Wagner

Fiction reveals the truth that reality obscures. - Jessamyn West

Love paid a price so hope could become a reality. - Susan Gaddis

All our separate fictions add up to joint reality. - Stanislaw Lec

What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality. - Plutarch

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be. - Jack Welch

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. - Tom Clancy

The reality is you either step into the future, or you become a dinosaur. - M Shadows

We have art so that we do not die of reality. Reality is too much with us. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Fantasy is hardly an escape from reality. It's a way of understanding it. - Lloyd Alexander

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The reality of professional skateboarding contests is that they're not relevant in our world. - Rob Dyrdek

The masses are in reality their own leaders, dialectically creating their own development process. - Rosa Luxemburg

Our fears are more numerous than our dangers, and we suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca

The past exists only in our memories,
The future only in our plans.
The present is our only reality. - Robert Pirsig

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. - Dr. Seuss

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli

All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike - and yet it is the most precious thing we have. - Albert Einstein

One supreme fact which I have discovered is that it is not willpower but imagination that creates. Imagination creates reality. - Richard Wagner

The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are. - Samuel Johnson

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. - R Buckminster Fuller

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Bad Day Flyer

Back Bard

St. Peter's Fish

Feed Me

Horse Model

Get In Line!

Coffee World

Horsing Around

Think Big

The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish

Jesus On The Beach

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Moldy Bible

Break Dance Soccer

Milk of Amnesia

Foot-Ball

Exhausted Baby

Open Air Wiring

Miss Chernobyl 2004

Fish Lips

Easy Mopping

African Lunch