#1 humor site on the 'net

French Army Knife

Re-inventing the wheel in France

French Army Knife thanks to Howard Chapman

Simplifying the process of making a Swiss Army Knife

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Tantamount: Riding a French Aunt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Within every heart there is a knife. - Indian Saying

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. - Rabindranath Tagore

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

Don't dig your grave with a knife and fork. - English Proverb

France was a long despotism tempered by epigrams. - Thomas Carlyle

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Boy, those French. They have a different world for everything! - Steve Martin

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

A standing army is one of the greatest mischiefs that can possibly happen. - James Madison

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

Two armies that fight each other is like one large army that commits suicide. - Henri Barbusse

Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fried. That and caviar. - Cameron Diaz

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. - Billy Connolly

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. - Doug Larson

The Kingdom of France will be thus ruled by King Charles VII... He will enter Paris in good company. - Joan of Arc

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

Surgeons must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the Culprit - Life! - Emily Dickinson

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it. - Rodney Dangerfield


Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing