Fowl Play

Chicken: An egg factory - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Goose Pimples: Duck acne - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Gamekeeper: A soccer goalie who doesn't get upset, despite losing heavily - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy