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There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


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