Flatulent Cow

In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Milk many cows but make your own butter. - Erwin Lutzer

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Laughing Stock: Cattle with a sense of humour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Stable: A command given to make a male cow remain in one place - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter. The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today, even for the same performance. - William O. Douglas

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. - George Carlin