Flatulent Cow

In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Laughing Stock: Cattle with a sense of humour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle. - Alfred Hitchcock

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter. The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today, even for the same performance. - William O. Douglas

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. - George Carlin

Man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered those chambers upright, with the Lord's Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips. - Viktor Frankl

It's every man's indispensable duty to do all the service he can to his country; and I see not what difference he puts between himself and his cattle who lives without that thought. - John Locke