Ferret Bottle

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Comedy is like catching lightning in a bottle. - Goldie Hawn

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Plagiarists are always suspicious of being stolen from. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies. - Phyllis Diller

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you. - Oscar Wilde

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah