Ferret Bottle

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Plagiarists are always suspicious of being stolen from. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

Men are not hanged for stealing horses, but that horses may not be stolen. - George Savile

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies. - Phyllis Diller

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah