#1 humor site on the 'net

Ent Tree Art

Tolkien Trees come alive in the park

Ent Tree Art thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Ents are a race of beings in Tolkien's fantasy world Middle-earth who resemble trees

Ents are a race of beings in J. R. R. Tolkien's fantasy world Middle-earth who resemble trees
QuotaBills
Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

Time spent amongst trees is never wasted time. - Katrina Mayer

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" - George Carlin

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. - John Muir

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

If you tell a joe-k in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joe-k? - Steven Wright

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

He that climbs the tall tree has won the right to the fruit; he that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit. - Walter Scott

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

There comes a stage at which a man would rather die cleanly by a bullet than by the unknown terror of the phantom in the forest. - Tahir Shah

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast

Toepener

No-Lake Picture

Logging Chairlift

Milkshake Desweetener

Dog Marathon

Global Warming Protest

Canadian Fast Food

Wienermobile Crash

Caribou Walking

Human Pixels

Ruling On Criticism

The New Canada

Pail Face

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Redneck DoorBells

Psychic Fair

Panda Push

Lunch Apple

Protective Wings

Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up