Engagement Rings

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Good intentions are not enough. They've never put an onion in the soup yet. - Sonya Levien

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland