Egg Tester

Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

What you teach your own children is what you really believe in. - Cathy Warner Weatherford

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Picasso

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings. - Hodding S. Carter

Every child should have an occasional pat on the back as long as it is applied low enough and hard enough. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan