#1 humor site on the 'net

Education Standstill

Education works best when all the parts are working

Education Standstill thanks to Roy Bishop

Too bad that these gears could never turn...

What happens when dubm teachers pretend to be engineers... Standstill: a situation or condition in which there is no movement or activity at all

QuotaBills
Education is a system of imposed ignorance. - Noam Chomsky

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

I never let schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Education is hanging around until you've caught on. - Robert Frost

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. - Aristotle

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education. - Martin Luther King Jr.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Instruction ends in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life. - Frederick M Robertson

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain

You get an education when you read the small print. You get a shock when you don't. - Buck Tracy

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Education doesn't change life much. It just lifts trouble to a higher plane of regard. - Robert Frost

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university. - Albert Einstein

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the three R's, only one begins with an R. - Dennis Miller

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100