#1 humor site on the 'net

Eat Here

Self service flatulent diner for unleaded customers

Eat Here thanks to Melanie Thompson

Redneck restaurant for those with high octane needs

QuotaBills
The appetite grows by eating. - Francois Rabelais

PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals - Unknown

Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys. - Groundskeeper Willie

Persist as resolutely as you persist in eating. - Maori Saying

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis

When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. - China Proverb

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Eating an artichoke is like getting to know someone really well. - Willi Hastings

No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. - Christopher Morley

Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

No man is lonely while eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. - Christopher Morley

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. - Wallace Irwin

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

Snaccident: Eating an entire pizza, box of chocolates, or family size bag of chips by mistake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The chief pleasure in eating does not consist in costly seasoning, or exquisite flavor, but in yourself. - Horace

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents and eating buffalo. - Jamie Dimon

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

The best reason to go to the movies is to be with other people. Eating the popcorn, being with other people you don't know. - Peter Weller

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


Hand-Some Baby

Joined Workout

Looking The Part

Redneck Candle

Redneck Plumbing

Flat Spare Tire

Ink Birds

Man Of The House

Ukrainian Model T

Sunshine State

Sons Of Arthritis

Husband Colors

Soccer Watch

Finger Lickin' Good!

Scottish Variant

Knight Room

FIFA HQ

Spot The Surfer

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale