#1 humor site on the 'net

Duck Tomato

Artistic crop in the vegetable garden

Duck Tomato thanks to Louise Hunter

Food for thought Illusions

QuotaBills
When in doubt, duck. - Malcolm Forbes

All our geese are swans. - Robert Burton

When turkeys mate they think of swans. - Johnny Carson

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One man's goose is another man's dander. - Archie Bunker

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. - English Proverb

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller

Ego: the fallacy whereby a goose thinks he's a swan. - Oscar Levant

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

A goose flies by a chart the Royal Geographical Society could not improve. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose. - Fred Allen

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. - Michael Caine

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

Nothing is more despicable than a professional talker who uses his words as a quack uses his remedies. - Francois Fenelon

When I lived in Delhi, I used to visit the Lodhi Gardens and feed the pigeons, crows, and ducks there. - Sangram Singh

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx

Happiness in this world, when it comes, comes incidentally. Make it the object of pursuit, and it leads us a wild-goose chase, and is never attained. - Nathaniel Hawthorne


Treadmill Workout

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta

Tiring Tire

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Water Skiing in Russia

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Spot the Snow Leopard

Open Too Long

Rap Is Like Scissors

Ball Bait

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Topping The Charts

Ring Leader